Grateful

So I made it to the end of this blog challenge by writing something everyday for 7 days. Ya me (considering my first post was about procrastination, haha).

I thought I would end things with what I am grateful for. I’m blessed to have an awesome husband who has supported me through all the crap things (of which there have been plenty the last few years, namely cancer, reconstruction and blood clots, along with the recent death of my mom, touched my heart more than he can know to see a tear in his eye at her memorial service).

I’m also lucky to have good friends, not a whole gaggle of them but some very important, close ones. They supported me through all our challenges too. Just being there to listen is wonderful but they always go beyond that.

My sister is also someone I am hugely grateful for. Even though we were adopted apart and grew up separately, we’ve become so much closer the last few years. She’s an incredible and compassionate person. I’m lucky to have her in my life and so glad we’ve gotten closer.

There’s the mundane things I’m grateful for, a good job, a nice house, not having to spend my days stressing about bills.

I also have 4 furry kids that bring joy to my life. They also bring a lot of mayhem but how can you be mad at them when they are so adorable?

Lastly, everyone always says they are grateful for their good health. Unless you have gone through bad crap, you don’t realize how important it is to be healthy. The days when you don’t make you realize how much you yearn for it and are jealous of those that are healthy and oblivious to how blessed they are. Currently, I have good health. Had a scare a couple weeks ago but that seems to be how things go in my post-cancer life. You’re always on alert and always waiting for results. But today, I am healthy enough and I am thankful for that and to not be in pain.

Try to find one thing today you are grateful for!

Little helpers

Struggling to find a topic for today’s day 6 blog post. Nothing is striking me at the moment, which is good as I can barely see the computer screen. You see I have helpers, 2 of them. They are small, furry and think the cursor is a small mouse. They sit in front of me on my desk and ‘help’ by pointing out where the cursor is. Unfortunately, it makes it impossible to see past their furry little heads. They are my helpers.

This afternoon I tried to work on a knitting project that I had screwed up years ago. How nice that my helpers were there to assist me by pulling the yarn or chewing on the needles. They made a difficult project somewhat more difficult. They are my helpers.

Their names are Loki and Rory, Siamese boy kittens, 7 months old and full of mischief. My sister game them to me (they were advertised as being girls …….. ahem, not so!) and they keep me occupied with their antics and helpfulness.

The blame game

I’m tired of being blamed. I’m tried of being told it’s my fault. You see, I had cancer and I seem to be bombarded daily with messages from cancer sites that tell me if only I had exercised more, eaten more blueberries, never drank, never had stress, etc …… that I wouldn’t have gotten cancer. It’s got to stop.

What makes me maddest is that people who are ‘healthy’ (eat right, exercise, etc) think they are safe from cancer. That cancer won’t take up residence in their body because they have done all the right things. Oh no my friends, don’t fall into that trap.

We lost a good friend several years ago. Was he overweight? No. Was he lazy and never exercised? No. Did he eat junk? No. Yet cancer took no pity on him but gobbled him up like candy at the fair. He fought it once and we thought the battle was over. But cancer is sneaky, devious and crafty, it returned and took him within a few days of us finding out it had returned.

I applaud you who are healthy, eat right, manage your stress, limit your alcohol … good for you! But please don’t think you that keeps you safe from cancer. Cancer has it’s own rules and basically there are no rules. It comes and goes as it pleases and chooses without prejudice.

Hidden sorrow

Depression sucks. I’ve had it and it sucks. I have family members that have been through it too and it sucks for them. One of my oldest friends was telling me recently that she’s suffered with it since she was 10 years old. What? Really?? I’ve known her since around that time and never knew the extent of her pain.

She’s recently lost a parent as well and is struggling to accept they are gone and move forward. It makes me incredibly sad to know she is in such pain and to know she has gotten close to making the pain end permanently. She’s the type of person who always appears happy and draws people to her with her energy but that’s only on the outside, inside is the pain. I wish I could convince her that things will get better and they she is truly loved by her friends and family.

Be kind to those around you, let them know you care and don’t ever make them feel embarrassed or ashamed if they are dealing with some kind of mental difficulties.

Help please?

So can someone tell me where has customer service gone? Are we such a self-absorbed society now that we couldn’t care less about others?

I ordered some fitness equipment a week and a half ago. It said it was ‘in stock’, fabulous. But a week and a half later my order still says “processing” (although they have charged my credit card … it must be on the way???).

I emailed customer service and received this reply:

We have received your order and have a unit reserved for you from our next shipment arriving March 10th as our website states. Your order will ship once this container arrives. On the product page the item states the units will be available on March 10th.

Uh, hell no, your website said NOTHING about waiting till March 10 for stock. That makes me mad enough but the fact that you’ve already charged my credit card 2 months ahead of time AND not letting me know it wasn’t in stock ………. well I’m ready to spit nails.

Unfortunately, this is typical of what we get for ‘customer service’ nowadays (and I use that term oh so loosely). Nobody gives a damn about honesty and transparency. It’s all about screwing over the customer and helping them as little as possible. But we sure will take your money!!

I haven’t decided what I’m going to do, but they will be hearing from me.

And …….

So further to yesterday’s post about shyness, I am reminded of an episode that happened on the weekend. We were out of town, at a concert with friends, and stopped at the pub after for a few bevies :-).

The group at the table next to us had been at the same concert and were indulging in a few aperitifs as well. The one girl had quite a few indeed and found out we had been to the concert. She chatted with us lots and did a LOT of high-fiving. It was quite hilarious (and my hands were getting sore!).

Anyways near the end of the evening she made an interesting observation. She said I reminded her of her sister, the quiet one in the corner, doesn’t say much but when she does it’s unusually funny (think that’s code for ‘smart ass’). Everyone agreed with her, of course.

So strange that a stranger could pick up on that, even in her drunken/distracted state. Things that make you go hmmmm ………

Too shy shy

I'm-not-shy

Yup, I’m shy. And that poster says it all :-). I have it on my desk at work and it’s so true. Us introverts have a really difficult time and get a bad rap for being stand-offish, snobbish and distant. Couldn’t be further from the truth. We’re the silent observers in the room. While everyone is busy chattering away, we’re watching and listening and evaluating all we see and hear. Maybe we don’t participate in the discussion but we think about it later, on our own.

We don’t like taking part in small talk but we prefer private, one-on-one, meaningful conversations with those we care most about. Being in groups is draining and tiring for us. It’s a lot of work to try and listen to all the conversations.

Don’t judge me too harshly, I do care about my friends, but I max out at about 3 people, over that I find it too difficult to interact (and this is where that shyness comes in) and usually shut down. I’ve gone to a lot of courses/training workshops and will not speak a word for the 2 days I’m there. Weird, yes?

I’ve found I need friends that are talkers (of course) and that pull the information from me. Although once we are close, I will open up more easily and talk more but usually it’s the other person that has to lead the conversation. Which I’m sure is tiring for them.

My mom used to always try and make me talk to others and be more outgoing like her. It didn’t work. I can’t change who I am as a person. But if you’re in my life, you know that you are important to me, even if I don’t say it :-).

Beginning anew

So I have an old blog that eventually became too personal so it’s locked down. Too many thoughts on there that probably shouldn’t be public. Then I recently purchased the book by Seth Godin called “What to do when it’s your turn“. I haven’t read it all, but that led me back to his blog to read there more actively and a post made on Jan 15 that led me to Winnie and her challenge to blog for a week. I know, it’s a lot of pieces to follow this puzzle.

So, here I am, beginning with a new blog and we shall see where it leads. Here is the post I made for the 1 week challenge:

Procrastination

…. that’s why I’m trying this challenge. I got Seth’s book a couple months ago now, still haven’t read it all (procrastinating) but read enough from there and his blog to find out about this challenge and decide to give it a try.

Let’s just say that I am the master at procrastinating. I start with exceptionally good motives, ideas and plans but they all seem to fall apart, easily, within a matter of days. My life is littered with half-finished projects (or maybe they are only half-begun?). Doesn’t seem to take long for me to become bored or distracted with a project. Then months later I’m kicking myself for not following through on it and completing something.

I enjoy knitting but, again, have several half done projects. I found one afghan I started in 2000!! WTF? I really did procrastinate on that one! My goal is to at least get that one done this year. It won’t be a huge accomplishment but it’ll be one less thing hanging over my head, reminding me of my inability to finish things.

I am also the master of excuses used to further my procrastination. Photography website not done … need a logo, need to edit my photos but first I need to sort them all, need to format the website first, can’t decide on colours, fonts, etc.

My mom who passed away recently used to always tell me “You have one speed and that is slow!”. She was always a whirlwind of activity and I don’t think she even knew what the word procrastination meant! Nothing stopped her and if she was on a project, dammit, it would get done. I only wish I possessed a little of her motivation and ability to follow through on a project to the finish.

My plan is to not set too lofty a goal for this year, but some things that are actually doable (even at my slow speed). I’m sure mom will be watching and cheering me on, maybe I’ll even make it into second speed!