Too shy shy

I'm-not-shy

Yup, I’m shy. And that poster says it all :-). I have it on my desk at work and it’s so true. Us introverts have a really difficult time and get a bad rap for being stand-offish, snobbish and distant. Couldn’t be further from the truth. We’re the silent observers in the room. While everyone is busy chattering away, we’re watching and listening and evaluating all we see and hear. Maybe we don’t participate in the discussion but we think about it later, on our own.

We don’t like taking part in small talk but we prefer private, one-on-one, meaningful conversations with those we care most about. Being in groups is draining and tiring for us. It’s a lot of work to try and listen to all the conversations.

Don’t judge me too harshly, I do care about my friends, but I max out at about 3 people, over that I find it too difficult to interact (and this is where that shyness comes in) and usually shut down. I’ve gone to a lot of courses/training workshops and will not speak a word for the 2 days I’m there. Weird, yes?

I’ve found I need friends that are talkers (of course) and that pull the information from me. Although once we are close, I will open up more easily and talk more but usually it’s the other person that has to lead the conversation. Which I’m sure is tiring for them.

My mom used to always try and make me talk to others and be more outgoing like her. It didn’t work. I can’t change who I am as a person. But if you’re in my life, you know that you are important to me, even if I don’t say it :-).

Beginning anew

So I have an old blog that eventually became too personal so it’s locked down. Too many thoughts on there that probably shouldn’t be public. Then I recently purchased the book by Seth Godin called “What to do when it’s your turn“. I haven’t read it all, but that led me back to his blog to read there more actively and a post made on Jan 15 that led me to Winnie and her challenge to blog for a week. I know, it’s a lot of pieces to follow this puzzle.

So, here I am, beginning with a new blog and we shall see where it leads. Here is the post I made for the 1 week challenge:

Procrastination

…. that’s why I’m trying this challenge. I got Seth’s book a couple months ago now, still haven’t read it all (procrastinating) but read enough from there and his blog to find out about this challenge and decide to give it a try.

Let’s just say that I am the master at procrastinating. I start with exceptionally good motives, ideas and plans but they all seem to fall apart, easily, within a matter of days. My life is littered with half-finished projects (or maybe they are only half-begun?). Doesn’t seem to take long for me to become bored or distracted with a project. Then months later I’m kicking myself for not following through on it and completing something.

I enjoy knitting but, again, have several half done projects. I found one afghan I started in 2000!! WTF? I really did procrastinate on that one! My goal is to at least get that one done this year. It won’t be a huge accomplishment but it’ll be one less thing hanging over my head, reminding me of my inability to finish things.

I am also the master of excuses used to further my procrastination. Photography website not done … need a logo, need to edit my photos but first I need to sort them all, need to format the website first, can’t decide on colours, fonts, etc.

My mom who passed away recently used to always tell me “You have one speed and that is slow!”. She was always a whirlwind of activity and I don’t think she even knew what the word procrastination meant! Nothing stopped her and if she was on a project, dammit, it would get done. I only wish I possessed a little of her motivation and ability to follow through on a project to the finish.

My plan is to not set too lofty a goal for this year, but some things that are actually doable (even at my slow speed). I’m sure mom will be watching and cheering me on, maybe I’ll even make it into second speed!